The Braves Must Sign Nick Markakis Now

The Braves Must Sign Nick Markakis Now

I mean, they have to, don’t they?

Consider this – Nick Markakis, at the age of 34, is rocking a career high .600 isolated slugging. Not only will this break the single season record for ISO by 64 points, it will be only the second time in history that a player has an ISO of .475 or higher. Certainly, this knowledge may concern you because the only other player, Barry Bonds, had his reputation ruined by the stench of steroids. And considering Markakis has never had an ISO over .200, you might be quick to believe he is on steroids.

But I don’t. I believe he is a man of integrity. A man of purity. He is a Real American. He fights for the rights of every man. Markakis is a real American. He fights for what’s right. Even fights for his life.

Some of you cynics will suggest that Nick Markakis is only hitting for unreal power now because he is in a contract season. How dare each and everyone of you! Markakis is finally healthy after LIFE-THREATENING NECK SURGERY. The last three years have been extensive rehab. That means that he’s been better than half of the league while coming back from CAREER-ENDING NECK SURGERY. Now, healthy, he’s ready to unleash the greatest performance in history.

But, yes, he is in a contract season. It’s time to do what is right. It’s time to sign Nick Markakis to a contract extension. He is the face of the Atlanta Braves and we all know it. Sign him now before Markakis leaves us forever. Ask yourself this: if you took Ted Williams‘ DNA, mixed it with the DNA of Babe Ruth, Rusty Greer, and King Kelly to form the ultimate player with grit, determination, and a je nais quoi of the likes of which we’ve never seen before…would you let that player go?

Because if the Braves don’t sign Markakis to a contract extension, that’s exactly what will happen.


Tommy Poe
Born Again in Markakis Light

P.S. Well, no, don’t sign him to a contract extension, but that was one hell of a game, amiright?


Only one minor quibble. You need to go back to French 102. It’s:
Je ne sais quois.
Otherwise, it WAS a hellva game!

Uh, thanks..but no thanks! Dont let the door hit you on the way out the door Markakis (whether AA trades him by The July Trade Deadline, The Late August Deadline OR when he becomes a Free Agent)!

Coppy signing him for $44 mil four years ago, was probably his most head scratching move (given that The Braves were REBUILDING).

For every ONE MEATBALL PITCH that Markakis gets lucky and hits out…he’s let COUNTLESS MEATBALLS go unpunished (for instance, when he struck out swinging in an earlier at bat today, his strike three miss was on a curve that HUNG LIKE HELL BEGGING to be put in the cheap seats)!

It was a nice win today (especially given how Snitker totally MISMANAGED the top of the 6th inning by bringing in Rex “I consistently have a 7.25 ERA whether it is during The Regular Season OR Spring Training” Brothers to pitch).

Gabe Kapler taking out Nola after only 68 pitches (he has HISTORICALLY been tough against The Braves)..topped Snitker’s efforts to give The Phillies and easy 1st win of the season!


Yes, I see what you did there. How could they not. What a fun fun game–your french is in perfect progress–just like Neck’s approaching lifetime contract. This really made me smile. Thanks.

LOL… I dunno…… if it’s between Nick and Bryce, well……. OK, sign Nick; he’ll be cheaper this time around!!! And he’s like a fine (red) wine; gets better with age.

Nice to win one at least this year.

I’d look at the Stanton contract as a model to open the negotiations. Nick’s only 34, and sure you’ll probably see some drop off from him in his mid 40’s… but let’s remember, the ageless wonder, Julio Franco, was still swinging the lumber at 48!

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